


you can take my heart for a walk on the beach

by jellyfishes



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, so this turned into a mammoth story, sorry bout that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-11
Updated: 2012-11-11
Packaged: 2017-11-18 10:22:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/559962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jellyfishes/pseuds/jellyfishes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liam can’t do this now. Not when he has a sleeping five year old down the hall and the guy standing in front of him who he used to think he was in love with. Not anymore of course, he moved past it years ago. But he and Louis grow back together and his eyes still sparkle with a bit of gold when the sun hits them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	you can take my heart for a walk on the beach

**Author's Note:**

> this is for deen because I think it might kill him.

It’s six in the morning on a Saturday when Liam’s obnoxiously loud doorbell rings through his house. He’s still in bed, gets the luxury of a sleep in now that One Direction isn’t his life anymore. He’s been sleeping in until at least seven on weekdays and nine on weekends for years now. Compared to the early mornings when it was often dark when the five of them piled into their van, waking up after the sun is still something Liam will never be able to take for granted.

“Bloody hell,” he swears, stubbing his toe on his bedside table when he swings his legs out of bed quickly because he doesn’t want to wake anyone else up and the person at the door is ringing the bell repeatedly, which is actually pretty annoying but he tries not to get too mad as he hops towards the door in just a pair of worn running shorts and a faded t shirt that is all stretched out around the neckline.

“Coming!” he yells and then winces because he lives in a relatively small house and he knows Ollie’s bedroom isn’t exactly soundproof. It’s likely that he left his door open too when he went to bed. But the person on the other side of the door stops ringing the bell at least and knocks instead. Liam can’t decide which is louder and sighs, grabbing the key off the hook by the door and jiggling it into the lock.

“Hurry the fuck up Liam, it’s bloody fucking freezing out here!” the person on the other side of the door crows and Liam stills for a moment because that _voice_ is so stupidly familiar. “ _Liam!_ ” the voice whines and Liam shakes himself, turning the key in the lock and pulling the door open.

“Louis,” he says, shocked at the man standing in front of him despite the fact that he knew it would be Louis on the other side of the door.

“Great to see you mate,” Louis says and steps forwards into the house, letting in a brush of cold air that makes goosebumps rise on Liam’s arms when Louis wraps him in a hug. But that might just be the feeling of the other man pressed against him.

Louis smells different to how he did three years ago when Liam last saw him, briefly at an awards ceremony that they didn’t attend together and his breathing sounds different when it’s against his neck to how it does when Louis called him just under a year ago to wish him a happy birthday.

“You going to invite me in properly or are you going to let us stand in the doorway until our balls freeze off?” Louis asks and Liam can hardly bring himself to chuckle through the waves of shock that are coursing through his body.

“Right, sorry,” he says, stepping around Louis and locking the door shut behind him before ushering the still shorter man into the kitchen. “You want a cuppa?” he asks because he’s not really sure what else to do in this situation. The situation being that his ex band mate has showed up on his doorstep after hardly talking for six years.

“Sure, you remember how I like it?” he asks and Liam nods.

“Little bit of milk, no sugar,” he mumbles because there are some things that you can’t forget. He and Louis have a history and that’s not something that disappears ever really. It drags on in Liam’s heart like some sort of burden that he can’t erase to add new memories.

“Thanks.” Louis breathes the word into the empty space between them, sits down on the opposite side of the granite bench to Liam and sips quietly at his tea. He’s quieter than Liam has ever seen him, perfectly content to just let his eyes flit around the room, taking it all in. “Nice place you got here,” he says. “Very…Liam. All sharp edges and organised. I kind of just want to mess it all up.”

Liam smiles. “You like messing things up, don’t you?” he asks.

Louis blinks at him, looks a bit hurt for a minute before letting himself smile. His eyes crinkle more along the sides than they used to and Liam is struck with how much time has passed since the two of them knew each other _properly_. There are more lines on his face and its expected because Louis is twenty seven, closer to thirty than he is to his teenage years, something that he’d probably hate to be reminded of. His hair is a little more sparse, still looks like it would be impossibly soft for Liam to run his fingers through, but they haven’t been touchy feely like they used to be for a long time and he doesn’t really think it’s his place to ask Louis if he’s still got the right to invade his personal space.

Liam collects Louis’ cup and dumps them in the sink, opens his mouth to ask Louis why the hell he’s sitting in his kitchen, because he kind of wants to get that out in the air before Ollie wakes up. He’s not sure if he’s ready for Louis and Ollie to meet yet, but Louis speaks before Liam gets a chance to.

“So, I’m in town for a few weeks,” Louis says and Liam raises an eyebrow because with Louis, that could mean anywhere between two weeks and two months. “I just wanted to come home and touch base, you know?”

“Define a few weeks.”

“Don’t know yet,” Louis says with a cheeky grin and Liam rolls his eyes. “I’m driving down to Donnie today, but I wanted to come and say hey and that I’ve missed you. Did I mention that yet? Because I _have_ missed you Li.”

Liam can’t do this now. Not when he has a sleeping five year old down the hall and the guy standing in front of him who he used to think he was in love with. Not anymore of course, he moved past it years ago. But he and Louis grow back together and his eyes still sparkle with a bit of gold when the sun hits them.

“Look, I’ve got to get going,” Louis says and Liam tries not to sigh in relief, but he thinks Louis can see it in his eyes. “How about I call you and we can organise a better time? You look stressed out Li. I thought life after One Dizzle was meant to be relaxing.”

Liam laughs and pulls Louis into a hug. “Get out of here you tosser,” he says and Louis grins, his eyes crinkling again.

“See you in a few days Payner.”

“Alright Tommo.”

He lets Louis see himself out.

\--- 

Liam calls Harry.

“Li?”

“Hey Haz, how are you mate?” he says into the phone and smiles because it’s really nice to hear Harry’s voice and it’s been a few weeks since they last spoke on the phone.

“Yeah, I’m great. How’re you? How’s my favourite godson?”

“Ollie’s your only godson,” Liam deadpans and sighs. “He’s good. He’s still asleep.”

“He’s still my favourite,” Harry says and Liam can hear the grin in his voice because this is how all of their conversations begin. “What’s up?” he finally asks and Liam’s stomach drops because he doesn’t really know how to say it, so he settles on the simplest option.

“Louis is in town.”

It’s a testament to their friendship that Harry asks, “Are you okay?” straight away even though he and Liam have never actually discussed Louis and the whole weird thing the had always been hovering between he and Liam.

“I don’t know,” Liam says and as he says it he realises that he’s not because he is the kind of person who needs _time_ to do things. It took him time to get over Louis and it always takes him time to gear up to seeing him again and he is so unprepared for the fact that Louis is in town because there was no warning.

“That means no,” Harry says and then there’s a rustling and a muffled call of Niall’s name in the background and Liam knows Harry has covered the speaker of the phone. A few minutes of murmurs that Liam can’t make out and the phone is rustling again. “We’re coming over,” Harry says and Liam groans because that wasn’t what he was asking for.

“You don’t have to do that,” he says. “You guys are all the way over in Ireland, I don’t want to upset that or anything.”

“Don’t be daft,” Harry says. “Of course I’ll come over. I would have come by myself for a few weeks but Niall is being a sap, so he’s coming too.”

Liam smiles because he misses both of them so much. “You want me to pick you up from the airport.”

“Sure,” Harry says, “I’ll text you the flight details once Niall’s got them worked out. You know how he has to be the one to book all this stuff.”

\--- 

Harry and Niall are flying in to Heathrow at nine on Saturday night and Liam cooks dinner for himself and Ollie at seven.

“Why isn’t there any cheese?” Ollie asks from across the table and Liam sighs, looking over at his son who is growing up in front of his eyes.

“We ran out,” he says gently. “Sorry buddy.”

Ollie nods, disappointment heavy on his face and Liam tries to remember what it was like when the most disappointing thing in his life was the lack of cheese to sprinkle on his alphabet spaghetti. Ollie has pasta sauce smeared all over his face and Liam tries to hide his grin because he isn’t really sure how the hell he ended up so lucky. For five years, he’s been completely enamoured with the pudgy boy sitting across the table from him, who he’s only just finished teaching to tie his shoelaces and who doesn’t know how to tell the time, but knows that when the little hand is pointing to the ‘three’, it’s time for Bob the Builder to start on TV.

Liam reaches across the table with a napkin and tries to wipe Ollie’s face, but he squirms away and frowns. Liam just laughs because he’s such a goner for his own son that he can’t even bring himself to discipline him. “We’re going to go see Uncle Harry and Uncle Nialler later tonight Ollie,” he says and Ollie immediately perks up, sitting up straight in his chair, his eyes sparkling. He’s got his mother’s honey coloured eyes and Liam’s thick curly hair.

“Zayn too?” Ollie asks because he’s used to Niall and Harry coming over for special occasions, but Zayn is around all the time and Ollie adores him and Ant.

“Not tonight, but we’ll probably see him soon, that sound good?” Liam asks and Ollie nods solemnly. “Now finish up your spaghetti so we can hop in the car, we don’t want to be late.” 

“Yes captain!” Ollie chirps and salutes Liam. Liam feels a spike in his gut like he always does when it strikes him just how much he loves Ollie.

\--- 

Harry and Niall are holding hands when they walk through the terminal and Liam smiles at them and waves. The two of them have never released a public statement revealing that they’re together, but they haven’t bothered to hide it at all since One Direction broke up with a bang six years earlier and it’s easy to assume with how loved up they always are. He lets go of Ollie’s hand and letting him run the short distance towards them and wrap his arms around Harry’s leg. Harry has always been his favourite, it comes with the fact that he’s so amazing with kids.

Liam can see Ollie talking a mile a minute and Harry is nodding carefully, letting go of Niall’s hand to crouch down to Ollie’s level and talk to him properly. Niall shakes his head and laughs, waving to Liam as he approaches. “Look at these two, thick as bloody thieves after two seconds,” he says and Liam grins. “Good t’ see you mate,” Niall says as he pulls Liam into a hug.

They’re interrupted by Ollie tugging on the edge of Liam’s shirt and he pulls away from Niall, swatting his hand away as it reaches out to ruffle his hair. Ollie is looking up at him with big eyes and a huge grin on his face and that almost always means trouble.

“Daddy, Harry says that I can ride on the bag machine,” he says excitedly and Liam sighs, looking up at Harry to glare at him, but he’s distracted by something Niall’s saying to him, blushing and cuddling into Niall’s side who has somehow managed to hook his arm around Harry’s neck in the two seconds that Liam wasn’t looking at the two of them.

“You two are ridiculous,” he says and they look up at him and laugh. Harry takes Niall’s hand in one of his and Ollie’s in the other and Liam walks next to Niall towards baggage claim.

They let Niall and Ollie get the bags, Harry telling Ollie that only the real men can handle such a huge responsibility and when Ollie asks him why Harry isn’t helping then, Harry laughs and tells him that Niall has always been the blokey bloke out of the two of them. Ollie wrinkles his nose at the unfamiliar term and scuttles after Niall, his chubby fingers curling into the demin of his jeans.

“He’s cuter every time I see him,” Harry says and Liam nods, wrapping an arm around Harry’s waist and pulling him into a warm hug. 

“I know how you feel,” he says, smiling. “Thanks for coming Haz.”

“Don’t want to hear it Li, you know I wouldn’t have come if I didn’t want to.” He pulls back and smiles, ruffles Liam’s hair. Liam wonders briefly how many people are going to mess with his hair in the next few weeks and pushes the thought aside in resignation. “Besides, it might be fun to see Louis. God knows we’ll be able to wreak some havoc.”

Liam groans and shoves Harry gently. “I swear to God if you teach my son to be a practical joker I will never forgive you.”

\--- 

Louis calls Liam a few days later and it’s about eleven at night. Ollie has been in bed for hours after Liam, Harry and Niall acted out a bedtime story for him that had him in stitches, tears streaming down his face at their awkward acting interspersed with laughter. Liam almost doesn’t pick up the phone, but snatches it up on the last ring, slamming his finger unnecessarily hard onto the touch screen and holding it up to his ear.

“Hey Lou,” he says with a tired sigh.

“Liam!” Louis cries and he sounds stupidly happy for the hour, but it might just be Liam who’s used to going to bed at a respectable time now that he has a son who he has to get up for school most mornings. “What’re you up to mate?”

“I’m in bed,” Liam says seriously, but Louis isn’t deterred.

“Fucking hell Liam, you’re such an old man.” Liam rolls his eyes and throws the covers off, already preparing himself to go and have a whinge to Harry as soon as he hangs up the phone. “Suppose there’s no chance of you coming out with me then?”

“I have a son Louis.”

“Yeah?” Louis says and Liam sighs, running a hand through his hair.

“I have a son who I have to get to school at half eight tomorrow morning, so I really need to sleep.”

Louis sighs on the other end, the sound translating as a rough crackle through the phone. “Fine,” he says. “But I want to see you properly. Can we do lunch tomorrow or something?”

Liam feels his heart rate pick up and he hates it that his body still does this, betrays him in the worst way by making him feel things that he really shouldn’t. Not when it’s been six years and at least three relationships since he was enamoured with Louis. “Louis – ” he starts and Louis cuts him off.

“Just as friends, I swear. There will be no groping under the table or hand holding or lingering stares or any of that bullshit the two of us used to be into. Okay well maybe there will be a little groping.”

Liam laughs and runs a hand over his face, smiling a bit because Louis really hasn’t changed and he wouldn’t have it any other way. “Text me where you want to meet and I’ll see you at half twelve,” Liam says and he can almost _see_ the way Louis’ eyes crinkle when he giggles gleefully.

“I’m staying with Zayn and Ant by the way,” Louis says happily and Liam smiles, he’d figured it would work out like that. Just because he and Louis haven’t been in contact much at all since One Direction disbanded, didn’t mean that he hadn’t maintained a good friendship with the other boys in the band. Liam knows for a fact that Louis has been over to Ireland to visit Harry and Niall a few times and they’ve visited the States to see him too.

“Okay,” Liam says. “Maybe we should – ” 

“Get the five of us together?” Louis finishes and Liam smiles. 

“Yeah, exactly. Might be nice.” 

“Sounds good Li.” There’s a pause and Liam thinks Louis is going to keep talking but then he just sighs. “I’ll let you get to bed,” he mumbles and Liam frowns.

“Thanks,” he says quietly before bidding Louis goodbye and hanging up the phone.

He’s on his feet immediately, making his way towards the guest room where Harry and Niall are staying and praying that the two of them are still awake and not partaking in any indecent activities because God knows that walking in on your two band mates fucking once in his lifetime was certainly enough to last. He can see a soft light filtering through the bottom of their door and sighs in relief because it means they’re still awake and probably not fucking.

He smiles when he knocks on the door and opens it. Niall is sitting up against the headboard, glasses that he’s needed for two years sliding down the end of his nose while he reads a thick book. Harry is curled around him, head on his chest and a hand stroking long fingers against Niall’s hipbone where he’s pushed the blonde’s shirt up a little.

“You two are disgusting,” Liam says with a laugh and Harry lifts his head up, grinning cheekily as Niall puts his book down.

“Disgustingly adorable, right?” Harry says and Liam shrugs, conceding the point.

“So, Louis and I are getting lunch tomorrow,” he says, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

“Good thing?” Niall asks, taking off his glasses and wiping them on his sleeve before setting them down on the bedside table.

“I don’t know,” Liam says pathetically and falls back onto the bed. He sees Harry and Niall exchange a look and he tries to glare at them, but fails a bit because his feelings are all over the place.

Harry eventually sighs and shuffles down the bed a bit, kicking at Liam the way someone would if they were nudging an animal on the side of the road to see if it were alive.

“Stop being a dick,” Harry says and Liam groans again, not opening his eyes. “Seriously Liam, just go have lunch with him.”

“And talk about what?”

“I don’t know,” Harry deadpans. “Maybe anything but the fact that you’re quite obviously still a goner for him and would like to marry him and have lots of sex and grow old together?”

Liam sits up and frowns at Harry. “That is so not what is going through my head Harry. I’m not in love with Louis, I just don’t know how to talk to him anymore because I _haven’t_ in six years.”

“Also maybe because you’re in love wit’ him,” Niall supplies and Liam laughs exasperatedly.

“You’re both dicks and I don’t know why I’m friends with you.”

“We live to make you realise what you’re missing out on,” Harry says with a grin while Niall laughs and kisses Harry on the cheek happily.

“You’re useless. Ollie would give better advice.” Niall snorts at Liam and turns in to Harry to kiss him properly and Liam takes a moment to be jealous of the perfect relationship that the two of them have. “I’m going to bed.”

\--- 

Louis has his glasses on when Liam pushes the door open at the restaurant where they’ve decided to meet. He looks up from reading the menu when the bell tinkles over the door and his whole face lights up when he sees Liam and he sits up straighter, grinning at him. Liam sighs and lifts the corner of his mouth in return.

“You want a drink?” Louis asks as Liam sits down opposite him. He hands Liam a menu in a rush and Liam smiles because Louis is acting all hurried and tetchy like he’s nervous. It’s nice that Liam can make Louis nervous because it always used to be the other way around.

“Not alcohol,” Liam says and Louis laughs.

“I wasn’t going to offer alcohol!” he says. Liam blushes and it’s a little bit awkward. The two of them don’t _know_ each other anymore and the whole thing doesn’t feel like a lunch between two friends. It feels like two people who don’t know each other pretending to get along when they know it’s not going to be that easy.

“Okay then,” Liam says. “I’ll get a drink.”

Louis is just like Liam remembers, but a little bit more serious. He isn’t as loud as he used to be either and he probably learnt that from people in America not being as accepting of complete weirdos like the people in England are. Maybe because he hasn’t been in a group for so long and Louis was always a lot more confident in numbers, when he had people who had his back all the time. He hasn’t had that support network for a while and Liam thinks that it’s taken it’s toll on him.

They make small talk. Liam is polite and he asks Louis about his small scale record company that he’s started up in the States because it’s the right thing to do. It’s not like he’s been oblivious to Louis’ life for the past six years. It’s impossible to be considering his profile.

“It’s good, really good,” Louis says, grinning like he’s never been so pleased to be asked about his day job. “I didn’t really want to keep singing, not without the rest of you. So I figured I could let other people do all the work for me in that area and I get to watch people’s dreams come true.”

Liam smiles because that is _exactly_ like Louis. He’s always loved making someone’s day and to do it on a larger scale like that, it must be something else. Liam tells Louis about his part time job hosting the radio show on the BBC three days a week for a few hours. It’s not like he’s ever needed the money and he only really does it for something to occupy his time when his hands aren’t tied by looking after Ollie.

But Louis smiles earnestly at him like it’s the best thing in the whole world and asks him questions about his day and doesn’t try to bring Ollie up, which Liam is grateful for because he doesn’t exactly know if he’s ready to talk about that part of his life with Louis. Because he hasn’t _earned_ it. Not like Harry and the way he always manages to make Ollie giggle like the whole world is ending and Niall who in the early days used to play the guitar to Ollie to get him to stop crying and go to sleep and Zayn who’s made up for any lack of natural ability with kids with the number of times Liam has called on him to babysit at the last minute.

They stay there for hours and Liam forgets about time, like he always manages to do when he’s with Louis. He thought it might have changed after six years, but apparently, Louis still has the same effect on him. He manages to forget the sensible that he is so used to being. So when he looks at his watch and it’s two thirty, he almost jumps out of his skin.

“Shitting _fuck_ ,” he says, scraping his chair back and Louis stands up as he does, raising his eyebrows at Liam swearing because he has never really done that, and he still doesn’t, especially around Ollie.

“Uh, everything alright?” Louis asks and Liam pats his pockets for his keys, panicking when he remembers that he walked the ten minutes to the restaurant. It wasn’t like he ever expected to stay talking with Louis for so long. He always planned to be out of there without dessert and be able to leave Louis satisfied that he’d gotten his fill of Liam and could leave him alone for the rest of the time that he was in London.

“No, it’s – I’ve got to be at Ollie’s school in fifteen minutes and I’ve not got my car and I didn’t realise this was going to take so long, so I’m going to be late and Ollie panics when I’m late, he always has and – ”

Liam breaks off as Louis interrupts. “I can drive,” he says. Liam looks at him and bites his lip. It means Louis is going to meet Ollie and it’s not that he thinks Louis will be a twat or anything. In fact, he’s sure Louis is still as amazing with kids as he was with his sisters when Liam properly knew him. But he hates letting people meet Ollie. It’s some sort of fucked up protective thing that he has going on, but he knows that all kids get attached to people easily and Ollie is no exception – takes after his Uncle Zayn that way. And Louis is all over the place. He doesn’t stay in one place and he seems to be constantly running from settling down. So Louis and Ollie won’t mix well, not in the end.

On the other hand, Ollie needs to be picked up and Louis has a car and Liam doesn’t really have any other option so he throws enough money to cover the bill and tip on the table and says “Okay” and moves towards the door, holding it open for Louis to pass through. He ducks his head as he passes Liam as though to say thanks and waves him in the direction of his car.

\--- 

“Daddy!” Ollie calls when Liam steps out of the passenger side of the car and onto the pavement. Ollie detaches his hand from his teacher’s and runs across the playground, his little legs flying and his backpack bouncing on his back. Liam crouches down and opens his arms to let Ollie crash into his chest. He wobbles where he’s balancing for a minute, but a hand on his shoulder steadies him and he looks up and Louis who is grinning down at him.

“Hey mate,” he says into Ollie’s hair. His son still has his head buried in Liam’s chest and Liam will never get tired of how happy his son seems to be whenever he comes to pick him up from school. Liam stands up, pulling Ollie up with him and settling on his hip. Ollie’s getting too big for it, but Liam can’t help it and he ruffles Ollie’s hair before turning around to wave at his teacher who pushes his black glasses up his nose before waving back and disappearing inside the school again. “Sorry I was late Ol,” he says and Ollie shrugs.

“I know you’re busy Dad,” he says with a small smile and Liam reminds himself to thank everything he believes in that Ollie isn’t prone to tantrums. Ollie is looking over Liam’s shoulder cautiously and Liam turns around to see Louis grinning and waggling his fingers in his son’s direction.

“Ollie, I’d like you to meet my friend. This is Louis.”

Ollie holds out his hand to shake and Louis raises his eyebrows at Liam before smiling and taking Ollie’s chubby hand in his and shaking it firmly. “And who might you be?” Louis asks.

Ollie frowns as though he can’t believe that someone doesn’t know who he is. He’s used to “This must be Ollie!” when he meets new people.

“Oliver H. Payne,” he says, letting go of Louis hand and tapping Liam’s shoulder, which means he wants to be put down.

“Louis is our personal chauffer today Ollie. You want to hop in the back?”

“Yes, and I don’t need help.” Ollie says firmly, scrambling up into the backseat. Louis closes the door behind him and grins at Liam.

“H?” Louis asks, already making his way around the car to the drivers side.

“For Harry,” Liam says, hopping up into the car and turning around to make sure Ollie has strapped himself in properly. He’s sitting in the middle seat and is leaning forwards on his knees to try to talk to the two of them, already yabbering about his day. Louis looks across the seat at Liam and smiles, occasionally spurring Ollie on with a hum of agreement or a question about his teacher and the way he’s asked them to bring in their favourite toy for a picnic in the park across from the school next week and Liam has to remember to sign the permission slip and makes a mental note that he knows he’ll forget later.

Louis drops the two of them back at Liam’s house and Liam doesn’t invite him in, but Louis unbuckles himself from his seat anyway and hops out of the car. “See you later Li,” he says and pulls Liam into a hug. Liam falls into the hug, a little surprised and he thinks he heads himself squeak, which is quite embarrassing. Ollie huffs and waits for the two of them to finish. “Was good to see you.”

Liam nods, stepping back and smiling. “Again some time?” he asks and he’s not exactly sure whether or not he actually means it, but Louis looks so genuinely happy when he says it that he can’t really go back on it now.

“Yeah,” he says. “Sure! See you around Ollie.” Ollie waves happily before following Liam up the garden path towards the house.

Niall is sitting in the kitchen when they get inside. “You were gone a pretty long time,” he says in a voice that sounds innocent, but Liam knows really, it’s the exact opposite.

He glares at Niall. “Don’t you dare.”

\--- 

Zayn comes over for tea a few days later when Ollie is at school. He doesn’t bring Louis and Liam is grateful for that because he’s still not over the shell shock of seeing Louis properly again coupled with the fact that Ollie has been asking after Louis and when they’re going to be able to see him again.

“So Lou won’t shut up about your kid,” Zayn says, leaning back into the couch as Liam tries to subtley turn the volume up on the TV to discourage conversation. “Liam.”

Liam sighs and turns to Zayn. “He has a name.”

“Fine,” Zayn says. “Be a dick about it.”

Liam rolls his eyes and huffs out a breath. “Don’t you have somewhere better to be, or something better to do than interrogating me about something that shouldn’t interest you in the first place?” 

“Hey!” Zayn says. “I’ll have you know I’m very interested in your happiness.”

“That’s sweet Zayn, but I already have everything I need to make me happy.” 

Zayn looks at him curiously and Liam knows this conversation isn’t going to go in the direction that he wants it to go in, which is bloody annoying if he’s honest, but Zayn is really good at getting information out of him when he wants to. “Liam, Louis has been blabbing on for days about how excited he is to be back and that all the boys are together in London, and in case you were wondering, he mentions your name about three times as much as any of the others and I don’t think he even realises that he’s doing it. So if you’re going to be a tosser and act like the two of you were never friends, then you should probably tell him now so he doesn’t get his hopes up.” 

Liam looks at Zayn angrily because those are the kinds of things that he _doesn’t_ want to know about Louis. He would rather live in a world where he’s pretty sure that Louis has hated him since the band broke up, because honestly, it was kind of their fault, but most of the time, he blames it on Louis, so why shouldn’t Louis blame it on him? And to hear that Louis doesn’t care and he’s excited to see them all anyway, well, that’s just too much for Liam to stomach because he _hates_ it when Louis manages to be the bigger person. 

Liam sighs. “Fine.” 

“Fine as in…‘fine I’ll tell him’, or fine as in ‘fine I’ll make an effort’?” Zayn asks cautiously and Liam rolls his eyes. 

“I’ll _try_ ,” he says. “But I’m not promising anything. Louis is unpredictable at the best of times. And I don’t _know_ him anymore Zayn. He’s a different person.” 

“He’s still Louis,” Zayn says and he sounds a bit hurt. 

“Yeah, I know,” Liam says. “That’s the problem.” 

\--- 

Zayn has the lot of them around for dinner and Liam is thankful that he invites a few other people too, because he doesn’t want to try the whole One Direction thing again, not quite yet. Danny and Ant are there and he invites Perrie and Leigh Anne too because he _did_ date Perrie for three years and they managed to stay friends. Little Mix, just like One Direction, broke up with a huge bang when Jade took off to the other side of the world. Liam still feels a little pang in his chest whenever he sees the other girls because they’re a reminder of the wife that left him so suddenly with a baby that he had no idea how to look after. 

Louis pulls Liam into a warm hug when he arrives with Harry and Niall, clutching desperately to a bottle of wine. He can feel Louis’ cool breath against his neck and he shivers before Louis lets go and launches himself onto Harry and Niall simultaneously. Apparently they’re not too old to act like little kids around each other and Liam is glad he got a sitter for Ollie because he would only encourage it if not make it worse. Harry and Niall turn into complete idiots around him and use him as an excuse to act like they’re five. Liam doesn’t think he’s ever seen so many Disney movies in such a short space of time and that’s saying something. 

Perrie pokes her head out of the kitchen when she hears the commotion in the hallway and rolls her eyes, stepping out to give Liam a hug. “How’re you doin’ babe?” she asks and Liam shrugs into the embrace. She always asks with a hint of regret, like she feels responsibly for Liam’s failed marriage. Then again, he feels the same way – responsible for the end of Little Mix. 

“I’m alright,” he says. “You?” 

She grins as she pulls away and tugs him into the kitchen. “I’d be better if this pasta were cooking quickly. Zayn put the sauce on too early.” 

“Not the only thing he does too early,” Ant says, walking into the kitchen and Zayn squawks at him from where he’s stirring the sauce on the stove. He flicks his spoon in Ant’s direction and ends up with tomato spattered on the wall behind him when Ant ducks out the way. 

They’re new at the whole relationship thing – were friends for much longer than they’ve been together. Zayn had been pining for almost a year before he got his shit together and admitted how he felt just over a month ago. But they’re doing pretty well at the whole thing so far. Liam has always been jealous of the fact that his ex band mates seem to know what they want and go after it when he’s always been handed things and can never figure out what he wants. 

Dinner is nice. Liam ends up between Louis and Niall and he can’t help but think that Zayn planned it that way, but it’s not so bad. They manage to reminisce about the good old days without getting too nostalgic. One thing about the five of them is that they’re pretty good at pretending that the huge blow up between Louis and Liam never happened and they just get on with their lives. There’s no anger anymore. Perrie and Leigh Anne fuss over Harry and Niall and how in love they are and complain about the fact that the last time they saw the two of them was in Ireland for their wedding two years ago. 

“You don’t come back here enough!” Leigh Anne says and Harry shrugs. 

“Ireland is home now.” 

Zayn blushes as Ant and Perrie talk about all his ridiculous dating habits and it’s a testament to Zayn and Perrie’s friendship that she’s able to be so comfortable about the whole thing. There’s no jealousy at all, just a genuine wish for Zayn’s happiness. And then Ant is telling her about this great friend of his that he’s sure Perrie will love and trying to get her to agree to go on a date with him, which makes Leigh Anne crack up laughing and Perrie blush for a change. 

At one stage, Louis leans in close to Liam and puts his hand on Liam’s knee. “Refill?” he asks quietly, holding a bottle of wine over Liam’s glass. 

Liam nods. “Just a little bit. I’ve got to drive home.” Louis pours a splash of wine into his glass and when he removes his hand from Liam’s leg, he can still feel the imprint of his fingers like they never left. 

It’s loud and the room is filled with laughter and yelling and Liam can’t help but feel like all of the people in the room feel more like a family than he’s ever had in his life. Harry and Niall end up spectacularly drunk and sprawled on top of each other on the couch and Liam rolls his eyes when Zayn offers his second guest room up to the two of them and helps Zayn get them up the stairs. “If you’re going to shag, for the love of God, please do so quietly,” he says and the two of them giggle into each other’s necks as they fall onto the bed, Harry immediately curls up into Niall and Liam has to help get their shoes off and pull the covers up over him. It’s an almost painful reminder of the old days when he used to play Daddy Direction, but now he’s had a lot of proper practise looking after Ollie. “I’ll come get you tomorrow,” he says, but he’s not sure that they hear him because Niall is already snoring softly into Harry’s hair and Harry looks like he’s well on the way there. 

Zayn turns to Liam and grins, guides him out of the room and flicks the light off on his way. “You alright to drive home?” he asks. 

“Yeah, I’ve got to get back to Ollie.” Zayn nods. He’s used to Liam bailing at random moments to be there for his son. Ollie has been Liam’s priority since before he was even born. Perrie and Leigh Anne are gone by the time they make it downstairs and Ant and Louis are comparing the few tattoos that they have while Ant tells him about his plans to get one with Zayn soon. 

“I’m off lads,” Liam says cheerfully and Louis looks up at him. 

“See you in a bit mate,” Ant says, waving from the couch, but Louis stands up. 

“I’ll walk you out Liam.” 

He can’t exactly say no and Zayn smiles encouragingly at him as he waits for Louis by the door. “Thanks,” he says to Louis when he holds the door open and ducks his head in the same way that Louis did a few days ago in the restaurant where they went to lunch. 

They make it to the car in silence and then Louis is pulling Liam into another hug, this one a lot stronger than the one earlier in the evening. “It’s good to see you again Liam,” he says and Liam nods against him, smiling a bit because it’s nice to see Louis again too. Louis pulls back and licks his lips, is silent for a moment. “I miss you,” he continues. “Like…all the time.” 

“Louis – ” Liam says because he’s not exactly ready to have the ‘I’ve missed you’ conversation yet but Louis cuts him off anyway. 

“I was thinking we could do something tomorrow,” he says gently and traps his lower lip between his teeth like he’s terrified that Liam will say no. 

“I can’t Louis.” 

Liam can see the disappointment blooming in his eyes. “Please, Liam.” 

“No, I mean, I’ve got Ollie tomorrow. It’s Saturday,” he explains and Louis’ eyes widen and he laughs in relief. 

“Well shit, I keep forgetting,” he says. “Ollie can come? I can be kid friendly.” 

Liam smiles because Louis seems to want to make an effort and it’s nice, having Louis be the one to make the effort this time. “Yeah, okay,” he says. 

“I’ll drop Harry and Nialler off in the morning and pick the two of you up then,” Louis says and Liam nods, smiling. He lets Louis pull him into another hug and the other man presses a gentle kiss against his cheek that makes Liam blush, but it’s just a friends thing. People in L.A. kiss each other on the cheek as a parting thing all the time, right? 

“Night Louis,” he says as he hops into the car and Louis winks at him as he pulls out onto the street. 

\--- 

It’s a longstanding tradition in the Payne household that Ollie and Liam spend their Saturdays together. Usually, it involves the two of them getting up and making breakfast and then going out into the city and finding something fun to do. Last weekend, it had been the museum, and Liam had never been so grateful to get out of the house with Harry and Niall constantly whining at him that there wasn’t enough food or that he didn’t have the right type of milk to make coffee because honestly, it’s his fault that he _doesn’t like coffee_. 

Louis texts him at about eight at the same time that Ollie comes crawling sleepily into his bed. 

_on my way over so get your lazy arse out of bed payne_

He follows it up two minutes later with another. 

_it’s a very fine lazy arse, don’t get me wrong_

Liam laughs and throws his phone onto the other side of the bed, pulling Ollie up and into him with a groan. Ollie is getting to big to be picked up by Liam. “Who was that?” he asks and Liam smiles. 

“That was Louis, you remember from the other day?” 

“The man with the really big car?” Ollie asks and Liam nods carefully. 

“We’re going to spend the day with him today,” he says. “That okay?” 

Ollie frowns for a moment. “But it’s Saturday. Saturday is Daddy and Ollie day.” Liam studies his face carefully. He looks confused, but not upset and Liam misses the days when he was five and didn’t overanalyse every little thing as something worth more than it was. 

“Is it okay if it’s Daddy and Louis and Ollie today?” he asks cautiously and Ollie shrugs. 

“I guess so,” he says and he seems to sense that he’s doing Liam a favour. “Can we go to the zoo?” 

Liam laughs because Ollie knows that he hates the zoo, with the screaming kids everywhere and tired parents and winding pathways that always give him a headache. “Fine,” he grumbles and Ollie cheers, jumping up from where he’s nestled in Liam’s arms and bouncing on the bed just out of Liam’s reach. Liam lunges for him and tackles his legs, pulling him back onto the bed and tickling his ribs. Ollie screeches in laughter, kicking his legs and trying to push Liam off while Liam laughs at him. 

“Well aren’t you two quite the pair.” Liam jerks his head up at the same time as Ollie to see Louis, Harry and Niall standing in the doorway. Ollie’s face breaks out into a grin and he launches himself at Niall, who’s closest. The blonde scoops him up onto his hip and grins at him. 

“You want breakfast Ol?” he asks and Ollie nods enthusiastically, and Niall leans over to kiss Harry quickly on the cheek. “See you in a bit?” he says and Harry nods. 

“I’m just gonna have a shower,” he says through a yawn and the two of them disappear. Louis grins at Liam. 

“Thought I told you to get your lazy arse out of bed,” he says, making his way into the room and flopping down next to Liam. 

“If Ollie heard that, you’re in trouble,” Liam says because he’s not sure what else to say really. 

Louis laughs. “Shut up Liam he was already in the kitchen.” 

Liam rolls his eyes and shuffles off the bed. “Sorry I’m not ready yet.” He looks towards Louis who is still lying sprawled out on the bed. He looks clean and shaven and like his clothes have just been through the wash. It makes Liam want to cuddle up to him and sleep for hours on his chest. 

“That’s fine. We were hoping you’d have breakfast food because none of us have eaten.” 

Liam rolls his eyes and wonders how the hell everything has ended up just like the old days. 

\--- 

The zoo with Louis is actually a lot better than the zoo with just himself and Ollie. Louis has always been great with kids and Liam is happy to let Ollie latch his chubby fingers onto Louis’ shirt rather than his own and pull him this way and that to look at the various animals that he’s seen at least ten times already. Louis doesn’t seem to mind, animating his face to entertain Ollie and helping him out by reading the facts about the animals on the little placards in front of their enclosures. Though Liam isn’t too sure how accurate some of the facts are that Louis throws in there. 

“Did you know that lions are commonly mistaken for vicious animals, but really, their favourite thing to eat is a nice cold watermelon?” he says seriously and Ollie looks up at him with wide eyes. 

“Really?” 

Louis nods solemnly and Ollie shakes his head laughing. “Why don’t people have lions as pets then?” he asks and Louis grins. 

“Well Ollie, people used to have lions as pets, but it became a problem because they’re _obsessed_ with beds and their owners always used to come home to find them asleep between the sheets. It got very frustrating.” 

Liam tries hard not to laugh when they pass a keeper and Ollie says very seriously, “Sir, you should probably get the lions some beds. They’d probably like their enclosure a lot better if you did.” Louis winks at Liam and he shakes his head and takes the hand that Ollie isn’t using to point out all the things he sees. 

“You’re ridiculous,” Liam says when Ollie skips ahead to point at the monkeys, running along the side of the enclosure next to one of them that is right up next to the glass. 

“Dad! Look at this one!” he yells happily, laughing as the monkey springs away suddenly and Liam smiles. 

“It’s all part of being amazing with kids,” Louis says with a smirk and Liam rolls his eyes because it’s true and he can’t exactly deny it. 

They end up in the cafeteria by lunch time and Louis looks completely ridiculous with a giraffe cup, the straw disappearing into his mouth and Ollie looks completely chuffed sitting next to him with his own cup, an elephant. He’s pleased because Liam usually insists on juice, but Louis had been in charge of drinks and had let Ollie pick out chocolate milk. 

“You’re incorrigible,” Liam says and Louis laughs. 

“He’s _five_ Liam.” 

Ollie perks up when he realises they’re talking about him. “Yeah. I’m _five_ Daddy!” Liam can’t help but smile at the sassy smirk on his son’s face and wonders how the hell he learnt that from Louis in only a matter of hours. 

They all pile back into Louis’ car only about half an hour after lunch because Ollie gets super tired after he eats and Liam figures it’s probably a good time for the day to come to an end anyway. Louis carried Ollie to the car and Liam smiles because it’s been a long time since Ollie has had so much attention on him from someone other than Liam and it’s kind of nice, but overwhelming. He doesn’t know what it’s going to be like when they all leave, Louis back to the States and Harry and Niall back to Ireland because Ollie gets re-attached every time any of them come to visit. 

Louis walks them to the door. “Go hop into bed,” Liam says to Ollie and the small boy frowns and grumbles about it, but waves goodbye to Louis sullenly and retreats into the house. 

Louis smiles at Liam, shaking his head. “Your son is just like you,” he says and Liam smiles because nothing makes him smile more than people telling him about how alike Ollie he is. 

“Thanks,” he says and Louis grins. 

“Thanks for letting me tag along,” he says. “It was good to spend some time with you.” Liam has no complaints, because it _was_ good to spend time with Louis, but this whole exchange now just feels awkward, kind of like it used to before everything fell apart six years ago – like there’s a whole heap of stuff that both of them want to say, but neither of them really want to say it. “Listen, Li,” Louis says, just as Liam’s about to head inside. “Can – can I take you out?” 

Liam raises and eyebrow because it’s a first. Sure, Louis and Liam have always had this weird vibe between the two of them and Liam won’t deny that he used to be pretty sure he was in love with Louis, but it hasn’t been like that for a long time and he always thought that Louis was adamant about denying his feelings. And Liam, well, he’d been _married_ for God’s sake and having Ollie has always made it hard to fall in love again because he just doesn’t have time for all the first dates. But Louis doesn’t seem to mind Ollie tagging along, which is amazing. Apparently he’s silent for too long and Louis is biting his lip in worry and he speaks up again. 

“I mean, Harry and Niall will look after Ollie and it doesn’t have to be a boyfriends thing because I know we’ve grown apart, but I just thought that maybe we could _try_. Just one date. Nothing serious and we can forget it ever happened afterwards and – ” 

“Louis last time – ” 

“I know what happened last time,” Louis says and he sounds so desperate that Liam feels a bit sorry for him actually. 

Louis is rambling and Liam takes pity on him, decides to put him out of his misery and interrupts him. “Lou,” he says. “It’s fine.” 

Louis’ whole face lights up and Liam feels his stomach swoop. “Really?” he asks and he sounds so excited that it makes Liam smile back at him. 

“One date.” 

“That’s fine, Liam, you won’t regret it!” he says excitedly and Liam shakes his head in amusement and wonders for a second what it would be like to live with _two_ people who act like children all the time, but that’s jumping the gun a little bit, so he puts the thought out of his mind. 

“I’ll see you later, yeah?” 

Louis smiles. “Tomorrow night. Dress fancy.” 

\--- 

“You look hot,” Harry says when Liam emerges from the bathroom, his fingers still pulling at his hair. Niall whacks Harry on the shoulder and pouts. 

“Oi!” he exclaims and Ollie giggles into his hand. Harry and Niall are working to cook dinner for Ollie while the fluffy haired boy yells instructions about what to change in the gravy to the two of them. 

“Spoken for I’m afraid,” Liam says and Harry’s eyes widen before he grins. 

“Are you now?” he asks and Liam blushes. 

“I didn’t mean it like that. I meant it like – oh bugger off the both of you,” he says and Harry and Niall collapse into laughter. Ollie doesn’t know what any of them are talking about, but he’s clever enough to know his dad is the butt of the joke and decides to join in too, laughing along with Harry and Niall. 

Liam bites his lip when the doorbell rings and glares at Harry and Niall to tell them that if either of them even think about getting the door, they’ll be out of the guest room faster than they can blink. “Have fun,” Niall says and waggles his eyebrows. Liam rolls his eyes. 

“See you in the morning Ol, be good to Uncle Harry and Uncle Niall, yeah?” he says and Harry smiles. 

“He’s _always_ good, aren’t you Ollie?” Ollie nods solemnly and Liam laughs. 

“See you later then lads,” he says and makes the trip down the hallway that seems to last for miles. 

Louis has always looked amazing in a suit and Liam thinks he might look even more breathtaking in his age. He’s standing awkwardly on the porch, his hands clasped in front of him and he looks nervous. Liam feels his breath rush out of him because he doesn’t really know what to do with the fact that he can make Louis Tomlinson nervous. 

“Hey,” he says gently and Louis seems to snap out of it and positively beams at him. 

“You look amazing,” Louis says and Liam feels himself blush as Louis extends his arm to link with Liams. 

“Thanks Lou. You scrub up pretty well yourself.” Louis laughs and pulls Liam down the drive. 

“I got us a car…I mean, I just figured it’d be better if neither of us were driving. If it’s too much – ” 

“It’s fine Louis.” 

He can see Louis relax and he chuckles a bit when the other man holds the car door open for him. “What?” Louis squawks. “I’m being a gentleman!” 

“You don’t have to try so hard,” Liam says gently and Louis smirks. 

“You’re probably worth it though.” And Liam doesn’t really know what to say to that, so he just slides along the seat and lets Louis climb in after him. 

They end up in a fancy restaurant in East London and they haven’t been _that_ famous for a long time, but Louis has still booked them a table that is hidden away in the back of the restaurant and Liam thinks its nice given that the chatter in the main dining room barely reaches them. Louis’ eyes sparkle like something else in the candlelight and Liam can feel his heart thumping in his chest like it knows he’s about to fall in love. 

The waitress is young and she doesn’t bat an eyelid at the two of them so Liam thinks she might have missed the One Direction hysteria by about one or two years, which works well for them. Louis orders for both of them, wine and a meal, and Liam raises and eyebrow but Louis just smirks and says, “Trust me.” It’s actually really hard for Liam to trust Louis considering how everything ended, but Louis is trying and it’s unexpected. 

“So,” Louis says, when their meals arrive and Liam has taken his first bite and almost died at how amazing it is. Honestly, it’s just steak and vegetables, but it’s cooked exactly how he likes it and he’s not sure if he actually closes his eyes and moans, but he thinks that he might have. “This might be prying a little bit, but I was just wondering – ” 

Liam knows where this is going and he cuts Louis off. “It’s fine Lou. I think it’s fair enough for you to wonder how the hell I ended up alone in a house in suburban London with a five year old son and no one to share a life with.” 

“Probably wouldn’t have put it quite so bluntly,” Louis says with a laugh. “But it’s kind of along the general gist of the question.” 

Liam sits back in his chair and takes a sip of his wine. He’s not really sure where to start. It’s been a long six years and a lot more has happened in _his_ life than any of his friends’. 

“I know it’s not like I’m entitled to know anything,” Louis says and Liam shakes his head. It’s true. Louis hasn’t exactly earned the right to know about Liam’s life. He hasn’t been around when the others were. He wasn’t a shoulder for Liam to cry into like Harry was or someone to cheer him up like Niall or something to try and talk some bloody sense into him like Zayn. He was all the way over in America, setting up a recording company and he didn’t even call to say he was sorry about the complete shambles that Liam’s life had descended into. 

“It’s okay. I want you to know. We…well, we have a lot of catching up to do. How much do you already know?” 

“Harry always said it wasn’t up to him to tell me anything about your life Li. He was a piece of shit like that.” He cracks a grin and Liam smiles and thanks God for people like Harry in the world. “So all I know is that from catching glimpses of the headlines. Even then, I didn’t really know what to believe. I should have called or – ” 

“It’s in the past,” Liam says because Louis looks stressed and Liam doesn’t want to ruin the night with an angry bang before it’s supposed to be over. “The tabloids probably had a whole lot of it right actually. There wasn’t much scandal involved. You’d know that Jade and I were together. She got pregnant and so we got married. It was stupid and we shouldn’t have done it but we were in love, well, I think we were. It seemed like the right decision at the time.” 

Louis smiles. “Ah, hindsight. Always a bitch.” 

“Yeah, you could say that,” Liam says with a laugh. “Not that I regret it. I knew Ollie was the one thing in my life I had been missing as soon as I held him for the first time and he wrapped his tiny hand around my finger.” 

“Born to be a dad,” Louis says fondly. 

“Not really,” Liam says. “I think it was always _you_ who was meant to be a father. I’m only just scraping by, but you seem to do it naturally. Remind me to ask you how the hell you do that by the way.” 

“I’m afraid that if I told you, I’d have to kill you Payner. I need _some_ tricks to impress you after all.” 

“Using my son to get to me. Definitely a Louis Tomlinson move.” 

Louis laughs and Liam flushes because he’s never been that great at getting Louis to laugh _with_ him. Usually Louis is sitting there laughing at another stupid thing that Liam has done and it’s nice that he can properly make him laugh – the way that gets his eyes to scrunch up in the corners and his head to tip back. Louis’ laugh can turn heads and Liam knows how the people looking feel. He doesn’t want to tear his eyes away. 

\--- 

Louis asks the driver to take them back to Liam’s house when Liam explains that he has to be up to take Ollie to school the next morning. 

“Look at you, all tied down,” Louis says and Liam laughs. 

“Wouldn’t have it any other way.” 

He walks Liam to his door and Liam doesn’t think he’s ever felt his heart beat so hard in his chest, like it’s going to crack his ribs from the inside out and jump right out into Louis’ hands. 

“You okay?” Louis asks and no, he’s really not okay, but he doesn’t exactly want Louis to know the effect that he’s having on him – that he’s always seemed to have on him. 

“Yeah, it’s just…it’s been a long time.” 

“Liam, I’m sorry I – ” 

“Let’s not talk about it now,” Liam says. “We’ve got plenty of time. I don’t really want to ruin what’s been a really lovely night Lou.” 

Louis bites his lip and nods, stepping forwards to pull Liam into a hug. Liam can feel _Louis_ seeping into every pore in his body and he wants nothing more than to curl up inside Louis’ chest and live there forever. “Louis,” he mumbles against his neck and Louis pulls back just enough to tilt his head and brush his lips against Liam’s. 

It’s the first time they’ve kissed and Liam doesn’t really know how that’s possible. He’s pretty sure that he’s kissed each of the other boys at least once before, but somehow, Louis and Liam have managed to avoid it. And Liam is pretty glad about that as he leans down slightly to slant his lips more firmly against Louis’, to let Louis’ tongue trace gently along his lower lips and then into his mouth, chasing the last lick of wine from the back of his teeth. Because kissing Louis is like nothing he’s ever felt before. It makes him feel like he’s burning up for one second and then ice cold the next, like his blood is lava pulsing through him and everywhere is on fire – especially his back, where Louis’ hands are running up an down the soft fabric of his dinner jacket. Liam doesn’t know why the fuck they two of them haven’t been doing this forever because it feels so _good_. 

“Well fuck,” Louis says as he pulls back, letting out a shaky laugh and Liam knows _exactly_ how he feels because ‘well fuck’ is a perfect way to describe his state of mind in that moment. 

“Remind me why we haven’t been doing that our whole lives,” Liam asks and Louis’ smile falters. 

“Liam, I know I’m a dick,” he starts, but trails off when he sees the look on Liam’s face. “Sorry,” he says sheepishly. “Save it for another time, gotcha.” 

“Thanks Lou. For a perfect date.” 

Louis grins. “Did I pass?” 

“Yeah,” Liam says breathlessly. “You definitely passed.” 

“Then can I call you?” 

Liam laughs and hits Louis in the arm. “You better.” 

“See you in a bit Li,” he says and leans up on his tip toes to press a gentle kiss to Liam’s mouth again. Louis’ lips are a little chapped from their earlier kissing and Liam falls deep into the kiss again, closing his eyes and allowing himself to get lost. 

“See you in a bit Lou.” 

\--- 

Liam wakes up underneath a pile of squirming bodies the next morning and he’s pretty sure he’s got half of Harry’s head of hair in his mouth and Niall’s nose buried in his ear.

“Get up Daddy!” Ollie yells, clambering over Harry’s back until he’s in Liam’s line of vision. “You’ve got to take me to school!” 

Liam glances at the clock and jumps, which is hard considering he’s got the weight of two and a quarter people on top of him. If they want to get there in time, they have to leave in five minutes and if there’s one thing he knows about Ollie, it’s that he doesn’t have the capacity to get ready in five minutes. 

“Don’t panic,” Harry sighs onto Liam’s neck and Liam tries to push himself up. “Ollie’s ready to go, so just throw some clothes on, brush your teeth and act like you haven’t got a pash rash for a few minutes while you take him to school.” 

Liam squawks and lifts his hand to his face to cover his lips. “Do I really?” he asks and Niall laughs, finally rolling off Liam and flopping down next to him on the bed. 

“Nah mate,” he says. “But you did right? Pash I mean.” 

“What’s pash?” Ollie asks and Liam groans. 

“Nothing, go get your bag Ol, I need to get dressed.” 

Ollie frowns and grumbles about never being allowed to know anything and Liam chuckles a little bit because really, that’s a load of bullshit because if there’s one thing he is, it’s honest with his son, but he doesn’t know if he’s quite ready to let Ollie know that he’s been going around kissing people especially when he still doesn’t know what it means considering Louis is only meant to be around for _a few weeks_. 

“So what happened?” Harry asks as soon as Ollie is out the door and Liam rolls off the bed to pull on a shirt and a pair of jeans. Niall and Harry lie on their stomachs on the bed, their chins cradled in their hands and their eyes following Liam as he potters around getting ready. 

“You two are like a pair of gossiping schoolgirls,” he deadpans. 

Niall laughs when Harry says, “That’s okay, I’ve got a schoolgirl crush on you Ni.” 

Liam emerges from the bathroom, a toothbrush hanging from his mouth and rolls his eyes at the way that Niall is poking at Harry’s dimples while the curly haired man grins and blushes. It’s always amazed him that the two of them have managed to maintain the same sweet, childish love that they started off with. It’s endearing and it makes him want the same thing with someone. Maybe with Louis…but their past is sort of anything but sweet. 

“We just kissed,” he finally says when he gets sick of the two of them looking at him expectantly and he groans for what feels like the fiftieth time when the two of them start hollering in excitement and asking about the mechanics of the kiss and how it must have felt like _sweet relief_ after so many years of build up. He pointedly ignores all their questions, especially the one about sweet relief because deep down he knows it’s true. 

Ollie chatters away in the car about how they’re going on a treasure hunt around the school today and that their teacher is going to let them in the middle school area, where usually they’re not allowed to go and he’s so chirpy and excited that Liam can’t stop smiling. He pulls into the drop off zone and hops out of the car quickly to help Ollie out and make sure he has everything. 

“Have a good day mate,” he says and Ollie smiles toothily up at him. 

“You too Dad!” he shouts out as Liam leans down to kiss him quickly on the top of his head. 

“See you at three!” 

And then Ollie is disappearing into the throng of kids that are rushing towards the school and Liam picks himself up and pulls away before the line of cars behind him gets too pissed off. 

Fifteen minutes in the car on the way back home is enough time for him to think about Louis and their kiss and Liam starts to realise that after all this time, when he thought that he was getting over Louis, he was really just pushing all those feelings to the back of his mind. And he’s been stupid to think that he’ll ever get his fill of Louis – that one date was ever going to be enough. Because the thing about Louis is that he always leaves Liam wanting more, needing to be around him as much as possible. It’s always been a thing about Louis. He draws people in and he makes people depend on his energy so that they can’t go a day afterwards without him. 

And Liam knows deep down that it’s never going to be enough. He’s never going to be satisfied with just a bit of Louis. He needs all of him, all the time, everywhere, pressed tight against his heart where he’s really been all along. 

His phone rings and startles him out of his thoughts and _Louis Tommo_ flashes across the screen and his heart thumps harder in his chest. 

“Hello?” 

\--- 

Louis turns up at Liam’s house two days later with a bag full of takeaway. 

“You know it’s a school night,” Liam says and Louis laughs. 

“I brought food for Ollie too. And I also brought _Cars_.” He smiles and Liam sighs, opening the door a bit wider. 

“You act like Ollie hasn’t got two copies of that movie already,” he says and Louis grins at him. 

“Good, because I didn’t _actually_ bring _Cars_ , so that’s a relief.” 

“Louis!” Ollie yells when the two of them make it to the lounge room. Ollie is sitting in front of the couch, surrounded by a pile of Lego and Louis grins. 

“Hey mate, how’s it going?” 

Ollie jumps up from where he’s sitting and tackles himself into Louis’ leg, wrapping his arms around him and smiling up at him happily. “I thought Dad stopped being friends with you.” 

Louis laughs. “Well I certainly hope not, because that would mean I wouldn’t get to see _you_ all the time.” 

Liam doesn’t even let himself wonder what Louis means by _all the time_ and makes himself busy dishing up the takeaway into three bowls. He puts a bit of extra soy sauce on Louis before panicking that Louis might have changed his taste over the years and doesn’t like it that salty anymore, but it’s kind of too late, so he just goes with it and brings the two of them their food on the couch. 

“Not at the table?” Ollie asks, looking up form where he’s showing Louis how to use the remote to set up their DVD. 

“For tonight only,” Liam says, resigned to the fact that Ollie is probably never going to behave when Louis is around to send him absolutely mental. 

“Thanks Daddy!” Ollie smiles around his fork as he starts to shovel food into his mouth and Liam looks at him pointedly. Ollie swallows purposefully before turning to Louis. “And thank you Louis for getting us dinner.” 

“Not a problem Mr Payne,” he says and Ollie salutes him as the opening scene of _Cars_ starts to play. 

Niall and Harry come home from their dinner date halfway through the movie and join the three of them in the lounge to watch the end, the two of them snuggling up on one of the armchairs sprawled all over each other with their limbs tangled in a way that looks permanent. 

By the time the movie is over, Ollie is yawning into his hand and Harry and Niall have already gone to bed to get an early night. Liam rolls his eyes at their excuse and pretends that he hasn’t noticed the way Niall’s hand has been travelling further and further up Harry’s thigh for the past half hour. They grin sheepishly and scuttle off towards the guest room quickly. 

“You want me to get him ready for bed?” Louis asks and Liam smiles gratefully, leaning forwards to pick up their empty bowls. 

“Thanks Lou, just make sure he brushes his teeth.” 

Liam’s heart almost melts when he goes to check what’s taking them so long and he finds Louis tucking Ollie into bed and humming softly to him. He blinks in surprise when he sees Liam standing in the doorway and then grins at him. “Spying on me?” he murmurs softly and Liam shakes his head, stepping out of the room to let Louis follow him before catching his hand and kissing him softly. 

“I’m allowed to do that, right?” he asks when he pulls back and Louis blushes and nods happily. It makes Liam’s heart stutter to see that blush on Louis’ cheeks that _he_ has put there. 

Liam finds a bottle of wine in the fridge and the two of them make their way back onto the couch, sitting with their legs hooked together. “Nothing’s changed has it?” Louis asks and Liam sighs, tipping his head back and letting the small amount of alcohol warm his bones a little bit. 

“Everything’s changed Louis,” he says gently because he doesn’t know how Louis can say those kinds of things when it’s pretty clear that everything in their lives has been flipped on it’s head. 

“I mean with us though,” Louis says. “This _thing_ between us that we never talk about.” 

Liam frowns and turns to face Louis properly. “I tried to talk about it,” he says quietly and Louis bites his lip. 

“Liam you know I always…” he pauses and Liam wonders if this is it, if this is the moment he thinks he’s been waiting for for seven years. “I always felt it too.” 

And it is. It’s what Liam has been waiting for and it warms him up from the inside out like a cup of tea and he doesn’t even have time to smile before his lips meet Louis’ and his hands wind their way into Louis’ hair. 

“Watch the ‘do,” Louis squawks unhappily and Liam laughs, ruffles Louis’ hair and kisses him again, more firmly. He’s torn between pressing Louis into the couch and pulling him up so that they can move to Liam’s bedroom and he decides on the latter because he can’t think of anything more mortifying than having Ollie get up for a glass of water and walk in on the two of them going at it on the couch. 

“Louis,” he says, gasps as Louis’ lips suck a line down his neck. “Lou, stop.” Louis pulls back and looks up at him with his eyebrow raised, but he looks a bit insecure, like he really thinks he’ll have made it this far for Liam to just reject him and Liam kind of wants to laugh at the fact that Louis even thinks that’s possible. “No, I mean – bedroom.” 

Louis grins and follows Liam out of the room, but they don’t get all the way down the hallway before he’s pressed up against the wall, a photo frame digging into his ear as Louis’ thumbs dig into his hips. “Please tell me you’re at least going to suck my dick tonight,” Louis breathes over Liam’s neck and it makes him shiver as he turns his head to suck a bruise along Louis’ jaw. 

“Might do more than that,” he says and revels in the way that Louis’ eyes darken. It gives him a second to push himself back off the wall and pull Louis the rest of the way to his room. 

Liam doesn’t think he’s ever seen someone look as perfect as Louis does, spread out on Liam’s sheets, his hair sticking to his forehead and his eyes bright as he clutches at the sheets. Liam twists his fingers inside Louis and he lets out a gasp, his grip on the covers tightening and his toes curling. “Being fucked suits you,” Liam says and Louis lets out a strangled laugh. 

“Fuck you,” he gasps and Liam retaliates by curling his fingers against Louis’ prostate. “No seriously, I hate you Liam.” 

“Sorry,” he says, grinning at Louis and kissing him as he reaches for a condom. 

\--- 

Louis’ breath is warm on Liam’s neck when he wakes up. The sun is only just coming up and the grey light casts beautiful shadows on Louis face. Liam smiles and rubs his thumb along Louis wrist where it’s already resting. He takes a second to wonder how the hell he’s meant to get out from under Louis when it comes time to take Ollie to school, but Louis’ always been a deep sleeper and he figures he’ll figure that out when it comes to it. 

Louis has a dusting of stubble across his jaw and Liam can feel it scratching against his chest. It feels nice, like it’s meant to be this way. He wouldn’t mind waking this way up every morning for the rest of his life but he doesn’t really know if he wants to dwell on that. He figures that one day he’s going to have to come back to all these errant thoughts about Louis that he’s been having over the past few days and pushing away before he can properly think about them. But for now, he’s happy to just feel Louis’ soft skin under his fingers. 

When it hits seven thirty, Liam finally shuffles out from under Louis, who snuffles and rolls over, burying his face in the pillow. Harry and Niall are already awake and at the breakfast bar. “What are you two doing up?” he asks and he’s already blushing because he knows that they _know_. 

“Could ask you the same thing,” Harry says. “I see that Louis’ car is still here and unless you kicked him out to walk home then I’m assuming he’s passed out in your bed still.” 

“He is. I just – Ollie,” Liam says just as Ollie appears in the doorway of the kitchen, his hair flat on one side of his head and his pyjamas still on. 

“That would be why we got up early,” Niall says. “Help a brother out and all that.” 

Liam smiles at the two of them because they’re thoughtful and he likes having people around who are thoughtful all the time. He’s going to miss the two of them when they leave. He still doesn’t know when they’re going to leave…when Louis does he supposes. And then he feels a pang in his chest thinking about it. Because Louis _does_ have to leave. He can’t stay away from L.A. for the rest of forever. His whole like is over there now, it has been for six years. A life without Liam. 

“You want breakfast Ol?” Liam asks and Ollie nods, taking the cereal that Harry pushes across the bench towards him. 

“Thanks Uncle Harry,” he says happily and Harry grins at him. 

“Favourite uncle right?” 

Ollie nods solemnly and then giggles when Niall clutches his heart in mock hurt. “You wound me Oliver!” he cries and Ollie laughs harder. 

“You sure you don’t want us to take him Li?” Harry asks. “Ni and I are heading down to Holmes Chapel for the day anyway.” Niall whoops and Harry grins because it’s always made him happy how much Niall seems to like visiting Harry’s family. Especially because Harry was happy to drop everything and move to Dublin with Niall when One Direction ended. 

“It’s alright,” Liam says. “I’ve got to pick up some milk anyway because this rascal over here has finished the last of it off with his cornflakes.” 

“Hey!” Ollie squeaks and Liam ruffles his hair affectionately and tells him to hurry up and get dressed before they end up being late. 

“Good time last night Liam?” Niall asks when Ollie has left the room and Liam blushes to the roots of his hair which makes Harry smirk and Niall giggle in glee. 

“Well?” Harry asks and Liam lets out a laugh because honestly, there’s no point lying about it. 

“Yeah it was really good,” he says with a quiet smile and he pretends he doesn’t see the look that Niall and Harry share. 

“Well,” Niall says. “We’ve got to get going if we want to be down there before midday.” 

“Say hey to Lou when you get back,” Harry says happily. “Give him a _big wet kiss_ for us!” 

“I hate you both.” 

\---

Liam gets home about an hour later, with the news tucked under one arm and a bottle of milk clutched in his hand. And when he opens the front door, Louis is right there on the other side. His eyes widen when he sees Liam and he pauses where he’s been pulling on his jacket. 

“Lou?” Liam asks and Louis looks at him sheepishly. 

“Hey Liam,” he says and he bites his lip like he always does when he’s either nervous or feels bad about something. 

“Going somewhere?” Liam doesn’t want to say it but it’s not like it looks that great. He doesn’t really know how Louis expects to explain his way out of this one, trying to do a runner while Liam was out dropping Ollie at school. He wants to be sure that Louis wouldn’t do that, but he feels his heart sink when he realises that he honestly _isn’t_. He just doesn’t know, and that’s what comes with not having known Louis for so many years. 

Louis looks terrified of what Liam’s going to say and Liam thinks he knows that as soon as he opens his mouth he’s going to fuck it all up but he does it anyway. “I was just – ” 

“No.” Liam cuts him off. “You don’t get to make excuses. It’s not fair. Not again Louis.” 

“Liam, I – ” 

“Can’t you try not to run away this time? Fuck knows it’d be a nice change.” Louis winces at the way that Liam swears because that pretty much never happens. “What’s the problem Louis? Are you incapable of doing anything that might actually mean something to you? Because last night you told me that you’ve always felt the same way that I have and I’m pretty sure that you know what that means because _you’re_ the one who freaked out and ran off to America when I told you I was falling in love with you six years ago.” 

Louis flinches, the words biting into his skin. Liam’s not exactly delivering them in the most gentle way and he might have raised his voice a little bit, but that’s really not his problem. Louis looks like he might cry and Liam thinks _good_. 

“I do love you,” Louis says and Liam tries not to notice his heart jump in his chest. “But Liam – ” 

“Don’t Louis,” he says, a little bit desperate. “Don’t do this to me again. You’ve done it once, I tried to get over you. It didn’t work. And I have no doubt that I won’t be able to do it a second time over either.” 

“It’s too much,” Louis whispers and oh, that hurts a lot because Liam never thought that Louis would have a problem welcoming both Liam and Ollie into his life, but apparently he was wrong. And Ollie is like an extension of Liam. If someone doesn’t like Ollie, Liam takes it as a personal insult. 

“Ollie – ” 

“Fuck Liam, it’s not _Ollie_!” Louis cries and Liam believes him because Louis looks so distraught. “Do you honestly think that it would have anything to do with your perfect son, who, by the way, is almost as amazing as you?” 

“Well I don’t know what the fuck else it could possibly be,” Liam mutters and Louis’ face crumples. 

“I’m so sorry Liam,” he says, stepping past him gently. Liam doesn’t even try to stop him and he doesn’t turn around to watch Louis make his way down the garden path and into his car. He tenses when he hears the engine start and the car pull away down the street and he doesn’t snap out of the trance that he’s in for a good half hour afterwards, finally managing to turn around and close the door. 

\--- 

“You sure you’re okay?” Niall asks when Harry takes Ollie to bed the next night. If Liam is honest, he’s been putting on a brave face for Ollie. He doesn’t want him to know anything is wrong, especially considering it’s pretty likely that Louis is just going to disappear out of their lives again. He doesn’t really know how to break it to Ollie because his son is completely smitten with Louis and he doesn’t want to kill the fantasy for him yet. 

“Not really,” Liam says quietly. “But I’ll manage. I’ve kind of had a bit of practise.” 

Niall sighs and moves from the loveseat to join Liam on the couch that stretches across the back of the room. He leans into Liam’s side and throws an arm around his shoulders. “I’m sorry Liam,” he says. Liam hasn’t heard him so sincere in a long time. “You know Harry and I wouldn’t have encouraged the two of you if we thought it was going to end up like this.” 

Liam laughs lightly. “Niall, it’s got nothing to do with the two of you. Louis is a coward and always has been.” 

“Still – ” 

“What’re we talking about?” Harry asks, reappearing and settling onto the couch on the other side of Niall. He’s got a goofy grin on his face like he always does whenever he’s been around Ollie and Liam smiles at him – Harry’s mood has always been infectious. 

“Nothing Haz,” he says gently and Niall shrugs. “Hope Ol wasn’t too much trouble.” 

“Nah,” Harry smiles widely and Niall looks at him fondly. “He’s always a bloody angel. Makes me – ” he pauses for a second and looks at Niall cautiously. “Kind of makes me want one of my own.” 

He blushes straight away and looks down at his hands and Niall’s eyes widen for a second as he processes what Harry’s said. It’s a lot and Liam isn’t really sure he’s meant to be witnessing a moment like this, but it’s also sort of lovely, watching the way Niall’s features soften and his eyes glaze over as he is transported into his own world for a minute. He reaches across his lap and takes Harry’s hand in his. “One of _our_ own.” 

“Yeah?” Harry’s biting his lip like he’s trying not to smile too much in case he heard Niall wrong, but his eyes are sparkling and Liam feels a sob rising in his own throat. 

“I reckon so,” Niall says and leans in to kiss Harry gently. 

“I think that’s my queue to go to bed,” Liam says and Harry breaks away to look up at him. 

“Okay, Payne?” he asks and Liam smiles. 

“Yeah, I’m okay. Congratulations…to both of you.” He leans over to ruffle Niall’s hair. “Remind me not to be jealous when the two of you make the best parents in the world.” 

“Impossible,” Harry says and Liam tries not to cry. 

\--- 

Zayn has a key to Liam’s place and he lets himself in the next day. He’s in the middle of a phone conversation with Ant and Liam blushes when he hears Zayn tell him to pick up more lube at the shop. “I’m not pedantic!” he cries into the phone, lifting a finger in greeting at Liam and hopping up onto one of the kitchen stools. “Well if you were the one with a dick up your arse every other night you’d want to make sure we have a backup bottle too!” 

He hangs up in a huff and Liam raises an eyebrow. “Seriously?” he asks and Zayn flips the bird at him before reaching for the glass of Pepsi that Liam pushes across the counter towards him. 

“How are you then?” Zayn asks and Liam shrugs. “Sorry I haven’t been around sooner. I’ve kind of been caught up consoling one sniffling idiot and I figured Harry and Niall would be doing an okay job with you.” 

“I’m not a sniffling idiot,” Liam says, frowning and Zayn grins. 

“That’s not what Harry and Niall said.” 

Liam groans and lets his head fall into his hands. He’s really not ready to have this talk with Zayn because he knows that the dark haired man isn’t going to put up with his bullshit excuses about being totally fine and not having to worry about him at all. Harry and Niall are sometimes too wrapped up in each other to notice anyone else and he didn’t think they’d realised that a little bit of the light has been gone from his eyes for the past few days. Apparently he was wrong. 

“I don’t know what you could possibly say to make me feel better,” Liam says. “Louis ran out on me. For the second time. I don’t think he could make me feel worse about myself.” 

Zayn tilts the corner of his mouth up in sympathy. “Would it help if I said that Louis has been crying himself to sleep since?” he asks and Liam laughs. 

“No, because I know that’s a lie,” he says. “Louis doesn’t cry.” 

Zayn raises an eyebrow. “That’s what I thought too,” he says and Liam blinks. Well, that’s new. 

“What do you want me to say?” Liam asks. “Regardless of whether or not Louis’ upset about it, he’s still the one who left. He didn’t have to do that.” 

“You know that he loves you right?” Zayn asks and Liam scowls. 

“He’s got a funny way of showing it.” 

“You know what Louis’ like.” 

“Yeah,” Liam says, and he’s sick of playing nice. “Louis is the kind of person who acts like he’s got feelings for me and then as soon as I man up and decide to do something about it, runs off the America without any warning. And sure, maybe it was my fault for springing that kind of thing on him, but do you _blame_ me Zayn? I mean, I wasn’t making it up in my head. We would have been so good together.” 

“You still could be,” Zayn says gently and Liam shakes his head. 

“No we can’t. And not because I don’t want to be. It’s because Louis won’t let us even _try_. He keeps running off and it’s not fair on me.” He knows he’s getting upset and he promised himself that he wouldn’t, but it just _hurts so much_ to be rejected a second time. 

“I’m not going to try and argue Louis’ case for him,” Zayn says gently. “It’s not my place, but you and I both know that Louis will be too scared to come and find you and apologise.” 

“So what am I meant to do?” Liam asks and Zayn shrugs. 

“Not up to me to tell you that mate. I just came here to let you know that Louis’ plane back to L.A. leaves tomorrow morning.” 

\---

Ant answers the door when Liam get there later that night and the smile that lights up his face when he sees him is probably bigger than anything that Liam’s ever seen. 

“You’ve got no idea how happy he’s going to be to see you,” Ant says and Liam smiles. 

“Thought I’d give him a chance to explain.” 

Louis hears Liam’s voice from the kitchen and pops his head out into the hallway. The spatula that he’s holding nearly falls out of his hand when he sees him in the doorway and his eyes go impossibly wide. Liam resists the urge to laugh and tilts his head towards Louis to get him to follow him out into the yard. 

“Walk?” he asks and Louis nods enthusiastically, falling into step besides Liam as they make their way down the street. It’s that kind of warm where it feels like there’s some sort of energy hanging suspended in the air and it fits the mood entirely. It takes Louis a good five minutes to work up to talking and Liam is silent, letting the tension build in the air until Louis snaps it with an apology. 

“I’m so sorry Liam,” he says and Liam shrugs. 

“I think I know that,” he says and turns to Louis. “But I still don’t really get it. I mean…do you even – ” 

“Yes!” Louis says quickly. “I do, Liam. I love you.” It’s only the second time that Louis has said it and it makes Liam’s heart thump dangerously and he _hates_ that he can be so mad at Louis but so mad _for_ him at the same time. 

“But you still tried to run away again.” 

“I don’t know if I’ll be any good at explaining this,” Louis says. “But I guess I should try.” Liam nods, gesturing for him to continue. “Six years ago I was still a kid. I mean, I know I was twenty one, but I still had the mindset of a sixteen year old. I still kind of do,” he says and Liam laughs. “I wasn’t ready to be gay for the world to see, but I didn’t want to have to be with you and pretend I wasn’t either. So I ran away because I didn’t want to make the decision.” 

“Louis,” Liam says. “You know that’s ridiculous right?” 

“I know,” Louis says with a small smile. “I never claimed to be sane.” Liam lets out a laugh and Louis grins, knocking their elbows together. It feels nice, easy. “The thing is Li, I know this is going to sound ridiculous because of how I am with kids, but I don’t want to commit to your family until I can prove to you that I’m _sure_. You know I love Ollie, of course I do. He’s impossible to dislike. But I can’t jump into something like that. I’ve always been fucking impulsive.” 

“You can say that again,” Liam laughs and Louis grins at him. 

“You know coming over here was on impulse? I mean, I’ve always avoided tabloids because I don’t want to risk seeing you in them. I read one fucking magazine article and it made me miss you so much that I hopped on a plane over here. So it’s not like I’m not in love with you Liam. I am. I just don’t want to do this on impulse. I want to take time and think about it and have a deep and meaningful with my mum about it and take the time to make sure that it’s something I can do. I couldn’t be the guy who makes himself a presence in a five year old’s life and then fucks off after a few months. I know that’s a shit thing to do.” 

Liam turns to Louis and smiles because it means a lot to hear him considering Ollie. “For the record Lou, I have full faith in you. I know you wouldn’t do that.” 

“I know,” Louis says. “I don’t think I would either. If there’s one thing I know Liam, it’s that I’m not ever going to be able to fall out of love with you. But I think I need to prove it to you how serious I am.” 

“I believe you,” Liam says. He doesn’t want Louis to leave, not really. He wants to keep him for forever, starting now. But he knows it’s not going to be enough. He thinks he needs to see how serious Louis is too, that he isn’t walking into Liam’s life on impulse. 

“I know you do,” Louis says. “But I need to believe myself.” 

\--- 

Liam drops Louis at the airport the next morning while Harry and Niall take Ollie to school. Louis kisses him in the middle of the terminal and he thinks he sees a woman in her early twenties snap a photo on her iPhone, but he honestly can’t bring himself to care if it ends up in the papers tomorrow. He just doesn’t want to let Louis go yet. 

Louis laughs when he finally pulls back and pats Liam on the cheek. He wriggles out of his arms and kisses him once more, gently this time. “See you when I see you?” he asks as he picks up his back and Liam smiles a little wobbly. 

“Yeah, see you later Tommo.” 

“To be continued.” 

Liam doesn’t admit it to Harry and Niall, but he sticks around in the terminal until he sees Louis’ plane pull away. A part of him was hoping that Louis would walk off the plane and back into his arms. When he gets home he tells them that Louis’ plane was slightly delayed and the two of them raise their eyebrows like they don’t believe him, but they don’t say anything anyway and Liam is grateful for that. 

“So when are the two of you going back to Ireland?” he asks and Harry shrugs. 

“Plane is booked for tomorrow afternoon,” he says and Niall smiles. Liam grins at him. He knows how much Niall misses Ireland when he’s away from home and it’s nice to see him excited about going back there. 

“Excited to be going home?” Liam asks and Harry nods fervently. 

“Can’t wait,” he says. “Never thought I’d see the day where I’m more keen to be in Dublin than London, but it looks like this fucker has rubbed off on me.” 

Niall smiles widely. “I’d hope so.” 

“Ollie is going to miss the two of you so much,” Liam says when Harry grins. It’s true though. Ollie loves Harry and Niall a lot and he is always brighter when the two of them are around. The house feels a lot more lively and Liam is overwhelmed with a sense of being a _family_. He guesses that one day, it’ll be like that with Louis – having him around all the time. He feels the corners of his mouth lift up in a smile when he realises that it’s going to happen. Louis _will_ be back. 

“You should bring him up to Ireland some times,” Harry says. “I mean, it’s been forever since you’ve visited. I bet he doesn’t even remember it.” 

“And next time you come over, he might have someone to play with,” Niall says and Liam feels his heart jump in his chest when Harry’s smile widens even more. 

“Doubt Ollie would be that interested in playing with a baby girl Ni.” 

“Still,” Niall says and Liam raises an eyebrow. 

“Not a spur of the moment thing then?” he asks and the two of them shake their heads. 

“We may or may not have been on and off the phone with an adoption agency for the past week,” Niall says. 

Liam laughs and pulls the two of them into a hug. “We’ll be there to meet her when you bring her home,” Liam says. He wonders briefly if he’ll be bringing Louis with him.

\--- 

When Ollie and Liam step off the plane in Dublin a month later, Niall is there to pick them up. “We played rock, paper, scissors to decide who got to stay with Imogen,” he says with a pout and Liam laughs. Ollie makes grabby hands towards Niall until he picks him up and settles him on his hip. Ollie’s in a bad mood because he hates flying – it makes his ears pop, but he’s smiling as soon as he’s in Niall’s arms. 

“Finally decided on a name then?” Liam asks because he knows the two of them have been arguing over what to call their adopted daughter ever since they met the mother. 

“I caved to Harry as soon as I saw her,” Niall admits sheepishly and Liam grins because it’s nice to see Niall so whipped. 

“What time are Zayn and Ant getting in?” Liam asks. 

“Tomorrow morning,” he says. “Harry’s picking Louis up later today.” 

Liam tries not to change his facial expression at all, but Niall is looking the other way anyway, so it probably doesn’t matter that his face gives away the fact that his heart rate just doubled. “Louis?” Ollie chirps and Liam turns to look at him, a bit apprehensive. He’s worried that Louis still won’t be ready to start everything up again and he doesn’t want Ollie getting his hopes up only to have to return back to London with only Liam. 

“You said it kiddo,” Niall says, setting Ollie down as they reach the car so that he can hop in the backseat and strap himself in. Niall turns to Liam with a goofy grin on his face. “I can’t wait for you to meet her Li,” he says and Liam smiles back at him, his eyes sparkling. 

“Me either Nialler. I’m sure she’s perfect.” 

\--- 

Imogen, amazingly enough, looks like a perfect mix of Niall and Harry. Her eyes are a bright green and her soft blonde hair is long enough to see that she’s going to have a head full of curls. Niall doesn’t let her out of his sight as soon as they get to their house and Harry only leaves the room long enough to show Liam to the guest room.

“She’s stunning boys, congratulations,” Liam says and ruffles Ollie’s hair where he is sitting on the couch next to Niall, staring at the baby girl in awe. 

“She’s so little,” he says, his voice filled with wonder and Niall grins at him. 

“You want to hold her mate?” he asks and Ollie’s eyes go wide and he shakes his head. 

“I don’t want to drop her,” he says. 

“Maybe another time,” Harry chips in and Liam squeezes Ollie’s shoulder gently. “I’m going to go pick up Lou now babe,” he says to Niall and then turns to look at Liam. “You want to come?” 

“Nah, it’s okay,” Liam says. “I can’t leave your poor husband alone with these two on his first day of doing this, can I?” 

Harry smiles and doesn’t bother replying as he leaves. It’s nice, seeing Harry and Niall so in awe of their own child considering they used to tease him about it relentlessly when Ollie was first born. 

Niall spends Harry’s absence asking Liam things about how to get Imogen to get to sleep when she’s crying and how hot the bath should be and how to make formula and Liam knows that the two of them have read the same things fifty times in the plethora of baby books that he insisted they purchase, but it’s nice that Niall wants to hear his input anyway. It’s a bit different reading about changing a nappy in a book than it is actually doing it and Liam can’t really believe that it’s his life, standing in the lounge room, trying to teach Niall the best way to wipe a baby’s bum to avoid collateral damage. Ollie is suitably disgusted and leaves the room with his nose wrinkled to play in the yard. 

Liam and Niall are still distracted when the front door opens and Louis follows Harry into the room. His grin doubles in size when he sees them trying to fold up the dirty nappy. “Well aren’t you two a sight to see.” 

Liam can actually feel his expression softening from screwed up with concentration to complete adoration when he sees Louis. “Hi,” he says gently. He turns his back for a second, washing his hands thoroughly and when he turns back, Louis is right there behind him, grinning like a love struck idiot. 

“Good to see you Liam,” he says and then he leans in and kisses him like he hasn’t done it in years. If Liam’s honest, it’s _felt_ like years, the past month. But Louis kissing him like this, it completely makes up for the thirty something days they’ve lost. He thinks that maybe he doesn’t actually need air to live anymore as long as Louis never stops kissing him and he digs his fingers into the smaller male’s hips to try and get that message across. Louis apparently feels the same because he’s gasping for air when he finally pulls back and he laughs at himself before Harry interrupts their bubble of a world with a cleared throat. 

“Not in front of the kids lads,” he says with a smirk and Ollie appears from behind his legs, giggling softly. Liam blushes furiously, which just makes Ollie laugh a whole lot more, clutching onto the leg of Harry’s jeans to keep himself upright. 

“One second,” Louis says to Liam, pressing a quick kiss to his mouth before crouching down to Ollie’s level and smiling brightly at him. “How’s it going Ollie?” he asks and Ollie blinks back at him. 

“Okay,” he says seriously. “Thought you might not come back though.” 

Louis reaches out to fix Ollie’s collar and brush a bit of dirt off his sleeve that he got there when he was playing earlier. “Sorry about that mate,” Louis says earnestly. “I had to go back home for a little while. But you see, the thing is, I’m pretty useless when it comes to organising my flights. And I’ve made a bit of a mistake. I reckon I might have accidentally booked a flight from here to London instead of L.A. and the pilot rang me up personally to tell me that it’s too late to change it. So I might have to stay with you and your daddy for a little while. You know, if that’s okay?” 

Ollie’s eyes widen when Louis tells him that he’s spoken to a pilot and he ignores the rest of Louis’ words and latches onto that instead. “Did the pilot have a hat?” he asks and Louis laughs. 

“Wouldn’t be a real pilot if he didn’t, would he?” 

“I have a dress up pilot hat,” Ollie explains. “You can maybe borrow it when you come to stay with Daddy and I.” 

“If that’s okay with your dad,” Louis says and turns to Liam with a question in his eyes. 

Liam is hyperaware of Niall and Harry hovering nervously in the doorway, Niall’s arm around Harry who is cradling Imogen to his chest. He laughs incredulously and pulls Louis to his feet. “I honestly couldn’t think of anything better.”

**Author's Note:**

> sorry deen...


End file.
